How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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