Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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