Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
