put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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