He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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