She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
