he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Randomize
