his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
