i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
