It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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