If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
