she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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