Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
