I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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