if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
