Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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