I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
