Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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