I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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