So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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