OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
