Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
