look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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