Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
