rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
