Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
