this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
