Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
