Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
His nipple licking is glorious
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