The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
