fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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