ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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