he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
