do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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