Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
