Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
