Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
