Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
