I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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