how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Small penises have feelings too.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
