I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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