Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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