Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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