you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
