do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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