remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
