He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
