I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
