After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
