Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
