I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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